I have been laying awake at night thinking about what I need to do for our fourth and FINAL trip. I have so many questions swirling around my head. One of my biggest questions is "bottle or no bottle". Grace turned one year old this month. The caregiver at the orphanage said she uses a cup now and feeds herself with a spoon. She then said if I want to give her a bottle at bedtime "that would be ok". Both my boys were completely off the bottle by the time they turned one. I slowly weaned and we had no tears or problems saying goodbye to the bottle. I did love not having to "break the habit" when they were older. However, I do understand this is a whole other ballgame. I did buy a couple bottles with drop-in liners. If she has been off the bottle for a while, I don't know if really want to go backwards. But I'm curious what all you APs think. You have gone down this road and I would love to know, "What did you do?"
The caregiver also said she was off formula and onto milk. However, I have read on several blogs that they gave their babies formula. I'm not sure if I should go back to formula for some reason.
I'm totally open to any and all advice. I have been through this age twice, but it has been over 6 years! I found myself in Target wondering what snacks babies this age eat :)
21 comments:
I think the bottle for an adopted child Grace's age is ideal for bonding. Otherwise our "homegrown" kiddos, the Pediatricians usually want them off the bottle, but I don't think the same rules apply when you need to work on attachment. Just my .02. Also, as far as formula vs. milk, formula has all the vitamins, minerals and nutrition that she may or may not be lacking or did not fully get during the past 12 months, so that will be a judgement call on your part as far as nutrition, as well as, if she will even take formula at all at this stage, I've heard some of them will, but some won't.
Good Luck and can't wait to hear about Gotcha day!!!
P.S. did you get my email?
Hugs and God bless!
yea, i'm no help with this...just wanted you to know i'm reading!
Our son was too odl for the bottle when we brought him home from Russia, but like as said above I've heard a bottle is great for bonding. I would think formula too - my son wouldn't touch our milk here for the longest time. Good luck!
Artem was 17 months old when he came home and was feeding himself and drinking from a cup. We gave him a bottle at night for bonding, otherwise during the day he drank from a sippy cup. We also fed Artem ourselves even though he could do it. If you think about it, our babies have completely missed that part of their development. While it's great that they are so independent, that independence comes at a cost and that's where you have to go in and fill in those gaps they missed.
Give her a bottle at night and rock her and use that time to be close to her, sing to her and have her look into your eyes if she will. She's missed all of that and it's crucial for attachment for you to let her go through that stage that she missed.
Chronologically she may be a year but emotionally she will be much younger and that's okay.
Our son too was a little bit older and was no longer on a bottle when we brought him home. We were told too that he was drinking out of a cup. We tried sippy cups and he did not know how to use them but learned very quickly. At first he was not crazy about milk as we were warming it up or giving it to him at room temperature but a week or so after we were home and he LOVES milk right out of the refrigerator. We actually gave him baby cereal though that we bought in Russia and brought home with us that had alot of the vitamins and nutrition that was in formula. Our bonding has been fabulous as I know we did not have the bottle to bond with but we would rock in the rocking chair at naptime and nightime and that was perfect for us for bonding. He was very picky in the beginning with eating but after about 4-6 weeks he is now eating us out of house and home like a typical boy!!! Can't wait to see pics on Gotcha Day!!! Safe travels back.
I brought my 12 month old son home from Russia and I gave him a bottle for all feedings during the day (bonding) for 3 months at which time he used a sippy cup with milk. After that, I gave him a bottle with fortified formula every night until he turned 2. He was malnourished and needed the extra vitamins. The first 3 months I included rice cereal in his bottle for extra filler. At 2, which was just this past Feb., I started giving him warm water in a bottle at night. Within a month, I stopped the bottle completely and he has been great since. Best wishes.
Our daughter was 14 months old when we brought her home. She had been off the bottle in Russia (she was actually drinking from a porcelain teacup in the baby home) for six months, but she took right to it when we offered it to her. We gave her formula in Russia because it was more convenient while traveling. I brought several cans of powder formula from home and mixed it with bottled water. It was so easy to always have a bottle handy in the hotel room, strolling around Red Square, and especially on the airplane. Once home, we switched to whole milk with no problems.
I LOVED that time snuggling with Lexi in my arms, holding her bottle (even if she was holding it too), and looking into each other's eyes. It was wonderful for bonding and about the only way to keep her still enough to get in my “snuggles” in the early months home. After 4 or 5 months home, her pediatric dentist and doctor recommended we take the bottle away. She accepted a sippy cup easily, but I sure was sad to see the bottle go. I am thankful to say that after 16 months home now, she finally enjoys just being in my lap again.
One tip if you decide to go with the bottle: Buy the older baby nipples with a larger hole for the formula to flow through. When you buy the new bottle kits, they always come with newborn size nipples. We made that mistake so I always try to warn others.
Best wishes and safe travels!!!
As many others have mentioned, the bottle is wonderful for bonding. These children missed the loving care that babies need. In the orphanages bottles are usually propped as the baby lies in a crib. Holding your baby close while feeding her from a bottle will give her that intimate parent/child time that she has missed. My son was 16 months old when we brought him home and we made the decision to bottle feed him at bed and naptime. It will be good for both her and you, trust me.
We gave our son formula that was fortified with iron. These kids tend to be at least slightly anemic due to poor nutrition in the orphanage. We were told our son was highly anemic and that he required iron supplements, but we fixed it with diet and after a few months home he was no longer anemic. It had just been poor nutrition. He didn't like the taste of the formula at first so we mixed it with what he was used to drinking (which was not milk by the way, but that is another story all together) and eventually got him to drink straight formula until his iron levels were straightened out.
I know it seems like a pain to go backwards, but for these kids it is not really backwards so much as experiencing something they never had.
another vote for the bottle here...did with all 3 of my Russian babies and it was the right thing...
take a couple of different kinds of formula in case she doesn't like one or it makes her gassy...
also just in case, take some pediasure (flavored)...don't give it to her unless the formula doesn't work...you always need a backup plan...and usually the kids love the flavor of the vanilla or strawberry or chocolate (for goodness sakes).
oh, when you pack the formula, pour it into a large gallon bag for easier packing but make sure you also pull of the label and put it in the bag as well so that if your suitcase or carry on is searched they will have a clear idea of what it is ;)
I live in Moscow and travel between the US and Moscow regularly. I would recommend not putting the formula in another bag, keep in original container. I do not think this was a problem at one time; however, if you are stopped or searched it will be confiscated. It may be taken anyway (for the same reason they lock formula in some cities - it is expensive), but you stand a better chance if it is in a the original packaging.
Also, pediasure is great for weight gain and vitamins. I used it with my son when he was young.
I might add I did not mean to discount what the other women said about packing in a bag... it is just that life has changed here since the incident in the metro. They are clamping down on some things they would let slide earlier....
uhmmm...bottle for bonding! Hope was very under stimululated and so I thought we needed to go backwards a bit for some bonding and loving time. as far as formula, if she is under weight than do formula, if not..I chose milk, to get accustomed. No right or wrong, personal choice.
I'm lying awake at night asking myself the same questions!!! Thanks for posting - love the responses!
I vote for the night bottle with milk, love the simplicity.I remember when I was 1 I loved to snack on krispy kreme donuts ;)
Bottle with milk! It actually helped soothe him--as opposed to a swim action (not rocking but a soothing action nonetheless)--and was phenomenal for bonding. My only advice--when you decide to transition, be consistent. We did it in 5 days, though probably waited 2 months too long as he'd become dependent on it for falling asleep.
Yet another vote for the bottle! Lucas came home at 15 mo and was not on the growth charts. Gave him formula at night for about 2-3 months. He STILL gets a bottle of milk at night while rocking...it's so fabulous for bonding and attachment. We'll probably wean him soon but it's such a non-issue. Alexander came home at 22 mo and he was on the bottle for bonding purposes until at least 2.5
As for snacks, Gerber puffs were a favorite until we were sure he was chewing (and not just swallowing!) and then moved onto cheerios and small cut up pieces of fruit, etc.
Woohoo - such a fun time!
Laura
I have had Libbie with me for 16 days now... and HOME for 9. She is 18 months old and was drinking from a cup in Russia. No matter what I have tried (all dif liquids, all dif temperatures, different nipple shapes and flow speeds) She will NOT drink from a bottle at all. So she's drinking cold formula from a cup only at meal times when she is sitting in the high chair. That is ALL I can get her to drink. So, I agree with what has been suggested: definitely TRY the bottle for bonding but be prepared that it might not be so easy even at only 12 months. She might insist on drinking from a regular cup. Bring lots of bibs because that can be a bit messy!
We brought Andrew home at 12 months. I continued to use the bottle and per our Pediatrician gave him formula (Enfamil Premium Advanced/Next Step). He said that children from orphanages are lacking in good nutrition and this would help give him the extra nutrients he needs. The bottle is good especially at night (at night, water only). It might initially help her fall to sleep. The bottle also helps you bond with her. You should put her on your lap and try to feed her like a baby so that she can stare at you when feeding (at least for the first month). As far as snacks, Gerber has age appropriate snacks. Andrew liked the puffs and the wagon wheels. He still eats the wagon wheels sometimes. The Multigrain Cheerios are the best. That's always a favorite. :)
I vote for a bottle for naps and bedtime. I used formula for awhile, just for the extra nutrients. At first our daughter didn't know how to drink from a bottle, but it took a few weeks, and then she caught on. I think it was very, very important for bonding and the fact that she was ALWAYS wanting something to eat. Food was a big deal to her, she obviously never felt she had enough, so filling up on 8 oz. of formula, made her feel really happy and relaxed. You'll love your bottle time - and so will she!
Victoria
Not really on the subject, but just some suggestions about what I wish I would've done. Made a video of others saying her given name in Russian. Get names of her favorite caregivers in case she ever wants to contact them later. Get her caregivers to say some nice things about her on video in Russian. Don't worry about getting the translation, By the time they grow up, there will be excellent translation software for them to use... and I think it would be a nice treasure for them to "discover" when they are ready. Try to remember not to video or take pictures of things for you (which is what I did), take pictures/videos of things for her because she might wanna know someday.... like the street sign of the road on which her orphanage was located, etc.
We put Caroline back on the bottle 3 times a day. We put vanilla Pediasure in it because formula tastes nasty and I imagine most older babies would reject it.
We were told she was drinking out of a cup, but she was certainly not good at it. No wonder she was so skinny.
Enjoy it!! It goes sooooo fast.
Amy
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